If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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