My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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