He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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