He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This baby is an asshole
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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