In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
