Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
