Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize