you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
