My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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