I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
