...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
not ubering you a puppy
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
