And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
