For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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