Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
