How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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