dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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