I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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