so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
