Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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