oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
