Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A bitchslap is in order.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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