What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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