i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Drake has all the answers
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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