rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
