your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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