Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
