singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Damn victory sex feels great
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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