I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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