That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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