I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
