you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
