I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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