This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
