my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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