Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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