Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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