This girl is more easily done than said...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
