love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
