in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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