gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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