you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
