Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
