So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
