If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌