Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
