I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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