are you still at the devil's house?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude i'm inner monologue high
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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