'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dicks are not precious.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
