Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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