I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My feet surprised me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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