Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
