Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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