When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She said her name was "party"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
