Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
