man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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