its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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