Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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