Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
