Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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