Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
