Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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