My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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