Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
